On this Martin Luther King Day, spend the day doing random acts of kindness like opening a door for someone, or help someone move, or offer to carry someone’s groceries to their car, or look every person you see in the eyes and smile, or spend the day volunteering. Do something to improve our world.
SagePresence started up like a spy novel. Co-founders Pete Machalek and Dean Hyers receive a call from a Federal Law Enforcement training center in Georgia to train 16 of their covert agents. This second mentoring conversation with Pete Machalek, takes us on an in-depth, fascinating journey into his life. We learn about his family of origin culture and how it shaped how he lives, leads, partners, and parents. We uncover incremental business growth, discuss love and belonging, and doing purposeful work.
More Episode Details. Film impacts people. Pete observed in one of his first workshops, how he made a meaningful difference in someone’s life. It inspired him to become the presentation coach he wished he would have had starting in High School. Someone to look at the bigger picture in life. His career is less about him and more about his life work of coaching and training others to see their life as a story they create, and discovering how to have a ‘say’ in it. Who do you want to help?
Pete grew up with 7-siblings moving frequently until his Dad capitalized on a publishing opportunity. What did his Dad value most as a provider for his children? How did Pete’s brother John, influence his view of entrepreneurship? Pete’s Dad created a formative message of wariness and skepticism toward advertising and consumerism, how did that impact Pete’s ability to sell and advertise his business?
Rigorous debates around the dinner table prompted side taking. His mother would observe discussions, usually taking the kids’ side of arguments. How did that affect Pete’s parents relationship? Reconciliation can come about without direct conversation as Pete discovered with his parents.
I can relate to Pete’s comment of his Dad’s voice being ‘alive in my head’. Every family has its culture and dynamics unique to them, and the generation they live in. Our job is to figure out what we want to pass along and what we want to change. Pete started by seeing himself as a work in progress and is aware of how he wants to be in his relationship with Jill, and with his two children.
We discuss how the roles of parenting have changed along with expectations of families past and in the present. His awareness and emotional intelligence came from his Mom and siblings. How does his family of origin awareness inform decisions in his family and the decisions he makes in business?
Pete met Jill, his wife, as a freshman in college. She was a sophomore. Friends first. They started dating when he was a junior. Together seven years and then decided to get married. He has given me a new take on snail-like behavior.
What decision making went into becoming a parent?
Actors cannot fake emotions, they need to be authentic to be believed and felt by the audience. At SagePresence, Pete helps you get to your authentic emotions which bring out your real self.
When our conversation turned to emotional intelligence, when the term ‘emotional intelligence’ was coined, parenting, and family culture, I weaved in Brené Brown’s research on love and belonging.
Brené Brown’s definition of love. “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them–we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare.”
Brené Brown’s definition of belonging. “Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
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Pete Machalek. Pete is a consultant and skill builder who specializes in helping business professionals move forward, build business, and work more effectively and productively with each other. In 2001, Pete and his partner, Dean Hyers, co-founded SagePresence around their backgrounds in film from which they cultivated a unique expertise in storytelling and facilitating performances that truly speak to their audiences.
Throughout its history, SagePresence, has helped thousands of clients generate confident and influential ‘stage presence’ to tell powerful stories everywhere from the networking floor to the presenter’s stage. Ultimately, this has led to professional advancement and client organizations winning over $4Billion in new business. www.sagepresence.com
Listen to Pete’s How Leaders Use Story TEDx Talk, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNjEi7XALYY
- Answer the questions after listening:
- Where were the seeds of entrepreneurship planted for Pete?
- Where have you learned about entrepreneurship and business ownership?
- What impact has that had on where you are currently in your life?
- How can you create a culture of love and belonging in your business or, workplace, and in your personal life?
- Reward yourself when you take positive risks to do something outside of your comfort zone.
- The next time you need to present something to someone else and you become nervous, identify the fear. Acknowledge yourself for taking the risk. Then focus your attention on the message and the audience, not on yourself.
- Visit Brené Brown’s websites courageworks.com and braveleadership.com for parenting classes and other resources.
- Connect with Pete and Dean for presentation coaching and skill development.
- For another speaking resource see Episode 49, Joan Moser of Spoken Impact http://wementor.com/2016/11/28/your-strengths-and-bridging-public-speaking-gaps/
- Connect with me today, email@example.com to take charge of your leadership development in 2017. We are starting new WeMentor Entrepreneurial Leadership and Mentoring LABS combining yoga, mindfulness meditation, and leadership development. Now is the time to take your leadership to a holistic new level!
F.Y.I. I am now a certified yoga teacher, mindfulness meditation instructor, and online certified in Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly and Rising Strong leadership process. This has given me new insights for getting new learning into our bones. If you are in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota, join a leadership and mentoring group, or mentor with me, one-to-one! I can’t wait to pass along 10% theory and have you join in for 90% practice, which is what it will take to revolutionize how you lead and how you live!
Mentoring Conversation Resources
- “In 1990, Daniel Goleman, in his role as a science reporter at The New York Times, chanced upon an article in a small academic journal by two psychologists, John Mayer, now at the University of New Hampshire, and Yale’s Peter Salovey. Mayer and Salovey offered the first form. His 1995 book, Emotional Intelligencewas on The New York Times bestseller list for a year-and-a-half, with more than 5,000,000 copies in print worldwide in 40 languages, and has been a best seller in many countries. Apart from his books on emotional intelligence, Goleman has written books o topics including self-deception, creativity, transparency, meditation, social and emotional learning, ecoliteracy and the ecological crisis.
- The Harvard Business Review called emotional intelligence— which discounts IQ as the sole measure of one’s abilities — “a revolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea” and chose his article “What Makes a Leader” as one of ten “must-read” articles from its pages. Emotional Intelligencewas named one of the 25 “Most Influential Business Management Books” by TIME Magazine. The Financial Times, Wall Street Journal and Accenture Insititute for Strategic Change have listed Goleman among the most influential business thinkers. http://www.danielgoleman.info/biography/
- Tony Hsieh, CEO of online shoe and clothing shop, Zappos. The American Internet entrepreneur and venture capitalist is also the author of three books: Delivering Happiness, Twitter Zen, and Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profit, Passion, And Purpose.
- Brene Brown Love and Belonging, Parenting Class, CourageWorks.com BraveLeadership.com
Exploring Entrepreneurial Family Culture of Love and Belonging, Episode 56 www.sagepresence.com
Next Monday’s Mentoring Conversation:
Dean Hyers, co-founder with Pete Machalek, of SagePresence will be in the studio. Discover how they complement each other.