I can say now, one of the joys I have in taping each podcast mentoring conversation is being present with the guest and then listening a second time to each episode. It took roughly 30 podcast episodes before the critic subsided enough for me to hear my voice from a third person’s perspective. When I could hear the expressive exchange between two or three human beings, curiosity arose, and uncovering the hidden learning began. Download

After listening to both of Patricia McGinnis’ taped episodes, the more intimate meaning of our conversation tied together for me as it relates to how I work through conflict. Like most reflections, you follow the scent to its origination point. In this case, conflict resolution, like most of us, is learned in your family of origin.

See the Mentoring Tips for a free gift from Patricia. Below are the 8 Secrets to Conflict Resolution you will hear us talk about in this episode.

The 8 Secrets to Conflict Resolution

#1 Conflict does not need to be feared. Conflict can be neutral or an intersection of differences. Conflict is an alert to differences.

#2 Conflict can turn into opportunity. Try being curious about how you feel and how the other person feels is a good way to start. Hear 5-different ways you can address conflict: compete, avoid, accommodate, compromise, and collaborate. Learn when to use each way to improve your connection with people.

#3 Burning anger just burns you. Anger is not a productive strategy to apply in conflict resolution.

#4 My way or the highway is the wrong way. Insisting on your way is the wrong way to go. No one person can be right every time. Maybe instead of my way or your way, there is another solution to the problem yet to be discovered.

#5 Let your values be your compass. Integrity. The circle can be self-perpetuating, so it is important to break destructive patterns you learned in childhood that result in negative outcomes as an adult.

#6 Stop assuming and start asking question. The what, the if, the how kind of questions that are open ended. The hope is to stop a person to think. What matters most to you? What is really going on here? What do you want me to understand about the problem? Once a person is understood they are so much more likely to solve the problem.

#7 Conflict masqueraders could derail you. Find out your conflict management style. Take the self-test on conflict management styles in Patricia’s book.

#8 Embrace conflict to find peace. If you only look at the adversarial outcomes when addressing conflict, you will miss opportunities for deeper connections of understanding the other’s point of view.

Mentoring Tips

• Take Patricia’s Advice: Give conflict a second chance. Give it the time it requires. Conflict causes so many physical and emotional problems. Have the courage to take on the conflict and show others how to work through conflict. You will be stronger and healthier for it. You can role model and empower others by trying out a variety of approaches to reach conflict resolution.
• Call Patricia for a free 20-minute conversation, 1-612-810-2910. She cares that people have peace in their lives and that leaders’ role model constructive approaches to resolve conflict in work relationships. A great way to build respect into work environments is giving people the skills to work constructively through conflict. A gift that keeps on giving.
• September is around the corner. Join a WeMentor E.L.M. LAB Call me to set-up an interview or get one-on-one mentoring, 1-612-804-8920.

The 8 Secrets To Turn Conflict Into Opportunity, Episode 133  Patricia McGinnis