Patricia McGinnis has been resolving conflict as a professional mediator, coach, and speaker for over 20 years. I found her conflict resolution skills started much earlier. In 2015, she published her techniques in Change Pain To Gain: The Secrets Of Turning Conflict Into Opportunity. Her creative problem-solving techniques are worth mastering.

Do you fear conflict? What if you didn’t? What if you entered the conflict with a sense of curiosity? Download

Patricia’s 1st job was starting a preschool and kindergarten at a private school. After having her 1st of 3 daughters she designed an early childhood program and ran it for 20 years. Overlapping were a stint as Director of Early Childhood education and Director of Family Services.

In last week’s Mentoring Tips, I suggested outlining some natural consequences that could be implemented into our criminal justice system that would replace punishment; a restorative justice approach. Patricia worked in a Family Services Collaborative and was trained in Family Group Conferencing (court diversion program). This program is an example of how bringing people together when an offense has been committed and using the opportunity to heal and to learn from the experience. Instead of separating and isolating people, bring those harmed together with the person who did the harming.

Listen to Patricia describe how 90 people were in a family group conferencing circle where four students were involved in committing a crime leading to injuries and hospitalization. Kindness and caring shown from adults to young adults. Patricia was in awe of the empathy exhibited to everyone. In this program every person is talked to ahead of time and know what happened, why the fight broke out, and what each person was thinking about at the time. The fear and sadness of all involved is talked about openly. This is a program that works to heal and repair relationships. It will make more sense when you hear Patricia explain the incident details.

Working in Family Group Conferencing led to mediation training, and Patricia founding Turning Point Mediation. She works hard with parents going through a divorce to keep the child(ren) out of the middle of their dispute.

First 5 of 8 Secrets to Conflict Resolution

#1 Conflict does not need to be feared. Conflict can be neutral or an intersection of differences. Conflict is an alert to differences.

#2 Conflict can turn into opportunity. Try being curious about how you feel and how the other person feels is a good way to start.

#3 Burning anger just burns you. Anger is not a productive strategy to apply in conflict resolution.

#4 My way or the highway is the wrong way. Insisting on your way is the wrong way to go. No one person can be right every time. Maybe instead of my way or your way, there is another solution to the problem yet to be discovered.

#5 Let your values be your compass. The circle can be self-perpetuating, so it is important to break destructive patterns you learned in childhood that result in negative outcomes as an adult.

Patricia’s parents modeled that it is possible to resolve conflict and get over it. Her parents aired their opinions, rather loudly at times. They worked through their conflict without holding any grudges. She has been using her techniques for a long time. They work.

Hear Patricia describe her example of how you can complete the Mentoring Tips exercise.

Mentoring Tips

• Complete The Conflict Cycle Reflection: PatriciaMcGinnis_Exercise5
• Join a WeMentor E.L.M. LAB This FALL Call me to set-up an interview or get one-on-one mentoring, 612-804-8920.

Secrets to Resolving Conflict, Episode 132  Patricia McGinnis