The Wallners Journey to Acceptance, 5 of 8 | WeMentor Mondays with Nancy PODCAST

Episode 170: The Wallners Journey to Acceptance, 5 of 8

The journey with The Wallners brings us to a fun and informative conversation about some of the 52 to 71 gender terms; depending on where you gather research. This conversation isn’t about being ‘right.’ It is about being accurate.

Accuracy can lead to mutual understanding. You can even have an accurate disagreement about some of the terminology or whether you believe there are five genders.

Being accurate about which Pronoun(s) to use, He/She/They, is important. In the workplace, what are the guidelines? When is it considered ‘polite’ to ask what pronoun someone uses? What do you do when you mess up?

If you are suffering from transphobia, biphobia, or homophobia, listen in, no one will know. This conversation will help you understand yourself better. Because if you have a phobia, it is best for you to take charge of it and not let the ‘phobia’ continue to lead you and keep you from knowing yourself. You can take charge by learning more about what you fear. The terms and definitions we talk about are listed in the Mentoring Conversation Resources below.

I begin our conversation with how The Wallners Journey to Acceptance is a Hero’s Journey. Alix is the hero who accepted the call to understand an inner concept of herself and her family, along with friends, became her allies. Alan, Rosie, and Alix also give updates since our last conversation.

Alan and Rosie found the following statistics to help us understand why these conversations are so important and why they are expanding their work in this area:

According to an estimate by the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law in 2015, one in every 137 American teenagers under the age of 18 identifies as transgender.
40% of individuals who are transgender commit suicide.
40% of youth experiencing homelessness identify as LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender).

Mentoring Tips

After listening, do the following:

To learn more go to www.pflag.org
Review the resources below. If you are not transgender, maybe you would like to become an Ally. One way to become an ally is familiarize yourself with this community.

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Meet The Wallners

Both Alan and Rosie are self-employed and over the years the business has been a big part of their family culture, and it’s not uncommon for the entire family to be involved with helping out on a project.

Alan and Rosie met in high school and dated through college. After college they married and together, they have three children: Lizzie (27), Alix (22), and Erin (13) — plus two dogs, Rance and Leo.

Just as their middle child, Alix, was wrapping up her senior year in high school, she came out as transgender.

Rosemary Wallner. Rosie grew up in the Chicago area but has made Minnesota her home. As a college student, she met many different types of people and began her journey to be accepting and open-minded to all she meets. As she got older, she embraced a more spiritual lifestyle and has grown in her understanding of life, the Universe, and everything. Rosie works at W Creative and heads up the Copy Management Services; she spends her days doing what she loves, proofreading and editing copy for her clients.

Alan Wallner. Alan grew up with his family running their own landscaping business and has spent his life associated with some form of family business and is an entrepreneur at heart. Alan explains his life journey as one filled with many lessons and learnings that he applies not only to himself but also to their business. Alan believes that how you are on the inside reveals itself exponentially on the outside. This philosophy is a big part of how they run their business W Creative, a brand design agency that helps companies discover their brand life-force and how to leverage it to have a greater impact on the world.

Alixandria Wallner. Alix is a young all-around true Minnesotan gal. She has been living full-time as herself since 2015. She was born male but has always been a bit girly and has been figuring out and experiencing her gender since she was little. As she graduated from high school in 2015, she kicked her transition medically and socially into overdrive. Since then, she has seen herself and her life change for the better! The love for pursuing her favorite interests and education came back in full swing. Right now, she is working on her video production degree and is starting her third year of school this spring. Overall, she has become more outgoing and an all-around happier person.

The Wallners Journey to Acceptance, 5 of 8 Episode 170 W Creative Branding

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Resources

Podcast Episodes 1 & 2

National Geogrpahic Video: Celebrating Five Genders in the Indonesian Culture
Report on Indonesian Transgender Culture
Terminology and Definitions
- Ally: a person who is not LGBTQ but shows support for LGBTQ people and promotes equality in a variety of ways.
- Androgynous: identifying and/or presenting as neither distinguishably masculine nor feminine.
- Asexual: the lack of a sexual attraction or desire for other people.
- Biphobia: prejudice, fear or hatred directed toward bisexual people.
- Bisexual: a person emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to more than one sex, gender or gender identity though not necessarily simultaneously, in the same way or to the same degree.
- Gender dysphoria: clinically significant distress caused when a person’s assigned birth gender is not the same as the one with which they identify. According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the term – which replaces Gender Identity Disorder – “is intended to better characterize the experiences of affected children, adolescents, and adults.”
- Gender-expansive: conveys a wider, more flexible range of gender identity and/or expression than typically associated with the binary gender system.
- Gender expression: external appearance of one’s gender identity, usually expressed through behavior, clothing, haircut or voice, and which may or may not conform to socially defined behaviors and characteristics typically associated with being either masculine or feminine.
- Gender-fluid: according to the Oxford English Dictionary, a person who does not identify with a single fixed gender; of or relating to a person having or expressing a fluid or unfixed gender identity.
- Gender identity: one’s innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither – how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. One’s gender identity can be the same or different from their sex assigned at birth.
- Gender non-conforming: a broad term referring to people who do not behave in a way that conforms to the traditional expectations of their gender, or whose gender expression does not fit neatly into a category.
- Genderqueer people typically reject notions of static categories of gender and embrace a fluidity of gender identity and often, though not always, sexual orientation. People who identify as “genderqueer” may see themselves as being both male and female, neither male nor female or as falling completely outside these categories.
- Homophobia: the fear and hatred of or discomfort with people who are attracted to members of the same sex.
- Lesbian: a woman who is emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to other women.
- LGBTQ: an acronym for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer.”
- Living openly: a state in which LGBTQ people are comfortably out about their sexual orientation or gender identity – where and when it feels appropriate to them.
- Pansexual: Describes someone who has the potential for emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender though not necessarily simultaneously, in the same way or to the same degree.
- Queer: a term people often use to express fluid identities and orientations. Often used interchangeably with “LGBTQ.”
- Questioning: a term used to describe people who are in the process of exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity.
- Transphobia: the fear and hatred of, or discomfort with, transgender people.