Since our 19-year-old daughter, Olivia, turned me on to Guest Mentor Dr. Melanie Joy, I have been devouring her books, podcast conversations, and TEDTALKs. I appreciate her so much and am thrilled to share our transformative podcast conversation.
Melanie is an amazingly gifted, brilliant social psychologist, theorist, educator, and international award-winning author of six books. She is a pioneer with a global mission in raising awareness of the obstacles preventing people from interacting in ways that create a sense of mutual connection. These obstacles are both internal (psychological) and external (social), and they are a key reason why we act against our own interests and the interests of others—often without realizing that we’re doing so. With awareness, we can think freely and act compassionately to create healthier and more fulfilling relationships and a more equitable and sustainable world.
She says, “Most of the problems in our lives and world are caused by relational dysfunction, a dysfunction in how we relate: as social groups, as individuals, to animals and the environment, and even to ourselves. Therefore, developing relational literacy—the understanding of and ability to practice healthy ways of relating—is essential for personal, social, and ecological transformation.” She has been influential in raising my awareness and has helped me transform my behaviors in three areas we talk about: how we relate to ourselves, each other, and the world at large.
Today we discuss one of her six books. A one-stop guide to building relational literacy, Getting Relationships Right: How to Build Resilience and Thrive in Life, Love, and Work. We haven’t been taught relational literacy. As a result, we are in the dark ages. You will understand more as you listen. Our conversation will facilitate your ability to move the pendulum toward healthier relating, even a little bit of movement makes a difference.
Some of the gems in our conversation include:
- How we have bought into the narratives that drive unconscious choices.
- The mentality and thinking behind nonrelational behaviors.
- Two sides of the nonrelational and relational coin.
- The Formula for Healthy Relating.
- Tips for Healthy Expressing.
- Solving life’s more pressing problems start with learning relational literacy. Hear how that is possible and how it relates to the problems you are solving through your business entity.
Melanie joins me in conversation from Berlin, Germany, where she lives with her husband and colleague, Sebastian Joy. They are interdependent, powerful together, and apart. Successful in their own right and connected in their life work. You will learn how they practice healthy relating personally and as world leaders.
Sebastian is transforming food systems by working with world leaders replacing conventional animal products with plant-based and cultured alternatives. Melanie is building relational literacy facilitating transformation in how we participate in the invisible belief system, or ideology, that conditions us to eat certain animals, known as carnism. A term coined by Melanie in 2001.
A transformative conversation you won’t want to miss. DOWNLOAD
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Conscious Attentive Leadership Mentoring
After listening, do the following three C.A.L.M. Activities:
1. Take this risk or do this adventurous task: Bring awareness to relating and interacting with others this week. Turn your focus inward and ask yourself, do I feel emotionally connected and secure with the person I am talking with?
While you are interacting, notice any physical changes like your breathing, pulse increase, eyes hardening or softening, or tone of voice change. Is someone morally superior? Or, are you noticing a calm and relaxed tone and demeanor where you feel there is nothing to protect, no armor needed to protect yourself, or a need for them to armor up with you.
You can use an ‘I’ statements and any other tip for healthy expressing that Melanie mentioned. Effective communication is nonviolent, and non-harming with each party leaving the conversation feeling understood and heard, even if you have different beliefs. There is no hierarchy of needs, just an equal desire to have a secure connection. The main question is, what is the relationship underneath the beliefs? In connected and secure relating, you can agree to disagree and build upon healthy relating by practicing integrity and honoring each other’s dignity.
2. Apply Self-Compassion: After each interaction, appreciate the risk and focus it took to maintain a healthy conversation and acknowledgment of feelings. Identify how you felt during and after the interaction. Let go of residual emotions and decide how you want to ‘do better’ or ‘change up’ the next interaction. Mistakes are part of a healthy relating practice.
3. Welcome Appreciation: “I appreciate Melanie. I appreciate what it takes for Melanie to create a global movement. I appreciate the role modeling of healthy relating Melanie and Sebastian do as world leaders. I appreciate our daughter, Olivia, and her commitment—and as an extension, our commitment—to veganism. A change we made this year. I appreciate journeying toward healthy relating all the time and participating in this global movement to move out of the dark ages.”
Your Turn. Start with, “I appreciate this week’s adventurous task because… I appreciate my ability to show up and be present. I appreciate practicing healthy relating, etc.”
“Most of the problems in our lives and world are caused by relational dysfunction, a dysfunction in how we relate: as social groups, as individuals, to animals and the environment, and even to ourselves. Therefore, developing relational literacy—the understanding of and ability to practice healthy ways of relating—is essential for personal, social, and ecological transformation.” —Dr. Melanie Joy, psychologist, author, theorist, educator
Learn and practice healthy ways of relating as you reinvent (or evolve) yourself and redesign your business. When WeMentor… your life becomes more meaningful!!! Mentoring WORKS.
Podcast Guest Mentor
Melanie Joy, Ph.D., Ed.M. is a Harvard-educated psychologist specializing in relationships, communication, and social change. She is an award-winning author of six books, including Getting Relationships Right: How to Build Resilience and Thrive in Life, Love, and Work, and Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs and Wear Cows. Dr. Joy is also an international speaker, trainer, and organizational coach. Her work has been featured by media outlets worldwide, including The New York Times, BBC, and ABC Australia, and she has been granted a number of international awards. FB IG
4 of 6 Books by Dr. Melanie Joy
Episode 280: A One-Stop Conversation in Building Relational Literacy
Author: Nancy A. Meyer, M.A.
Nancy A. Meyer, M.A., is a seasoned entrepreneurial leader, business and life mentor/coach/teacher, podcaster, author, and certified mindfulness yoga and meditation integrator (she integrates those skill sets into everything). Nancy’s compassionate and collaborative approach reinforces resilience while maintaining accountable conversations supporting how you redefine your lead while redesigning your business. Nancy calls this “Dual Innovation Leadership.” Nancy founded WeMentor, inc. in 1992 to change the leadership in our country by providing emerging and existing business owners with mentoring in Dual Innovation Leadership. She has mentored thousands and is eager to work with you! Assert self-leadership and get started today! Clients say, “Nancy is a compelling, engaging, and ‘decipher the trees from the forest’ kind of mentor, speaker, and leader. A dedicated entrepreneurial leader and mentor who role models what she preaches. Her style and candor enrich the content she delivers and the results clients experience.” Nancy accepts people where they are while inspiring them to breakthrough into new dimensions: As an Entrepreneurial Leader (Innovator), As a Competent Business Owner (Practitioner) As a Mentor (Role Model) As a Spiritual Being and Self-Leadership Master! Start by subscribing to WeMentor Mondays with Nancy PODCAST. Join your peers and...
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