Rumination is the unhealthy side of self-inquiry because wallowing in persistent negativity creates unhealthy patterns in our minds. When we ruminate, we get fixated on our problems. But, instead of coming up with solutions or examining with curiosity, we tend to dwell on the negative and focus on difficulties.

Rather than being constructive or regenerative, we replay conversations in our heads so often those thoughts bleed into every aspect of our day, taking away our ability to feel joy. We find it almost impossible to shift tracks and start a different train of thought. I talk about a house painting example that reinforces my point.

The universal law of attraction states that what we focus on expands. The more we ruminate on negativity, the more it expands. Writing a racist 180-page manifesto laying out a planned attack as the accused Buffalo shooter did before killing 10 people showcased a severely diseased mind. An unstable, erratic, and distorted mind at dis-ease; ruminating in hate.

Self-inquiry is part of genuinely exploring the human condition. Research has shown that the more we grow and heal, the fewer defensive parts we have and the more we are in a state of equilibrium. You can allow rigid and chaotic thoughts to pass through your mind without attaching to them. Allowing space between our thoughts and feelings gives us time to respond with more compassion, curiosity, and calm. Self-inquiry helps us explore the connection to ourselves and others in meaningful ways and feel an interconnection with the world around us. We feel grounded, connected, and whole.

Meditation gives you the benefit of practicing self-inquiry and inspires curiosity about how our minds work. Bringing curiosity to our inner experiences increases our well-being by helping us find space between our thoughts and feelings, helping us respond to those feelings or sensations in our bodies instead of reacting to them. 

“Thoughts and emotions are made of words and images in the mind, and feelings are made of sensations in the body. Both are important in self-inquiry,” says Dr. Cortland Dahl, the Co-Founder and Chairman of Tergar International, a massive network of meditation groups and centers, and my inspiration for today’s topic on healthy self-inquiry vs. rumination.

Observing ourselves in a natural state of being is how self-inquiry starts. You can notice your natural state of being right now. Let us take a moment to check in with your inner self. How am I at this moment? Breathe gently and allow your thoughts to flow without attaching to them. If you find your thoughts getting stuck repeating something negative, become aware that you are shifting into rumination.

With rumination, thoughts tend to be repetitive and often involve negative thinking, self-talk, and self-blame. According to psychotherapist Kristy Arbon, this repetitive thinking can be a form of resistance. “Many of us experience this kind of thinking from time to time or for short periods of time. But when it happens too often or too long, it can interfere with everyday life and put us at risk for anxiety and depression.” 

The purpose of meditation is to help us reach a healthy mind state that is clear, stable, and calm. The average person has 6,200 thoughts per day. These thoughts trigger emotions, and those emotions are felt through the sensations in our bodies. We need to interpret those sensations, name our emotions, and use those experiences to modify and monitor our behavior.

Meditation helps us learn about this internal safe place that only we can access. A safe place where we can determine the pace and practice in small or larger chunks, five minutes a day, 30 to 60 minutes a day, or more, depending on what you are interested in learning about your thoughts. Eventually, we can be in this state of mind like Deepak Chopra teaches 24/7 until we take our last breath.

Take a moment to think about your own mind. How do you typically respond to challenging situations? Think of a specific example. Maybe there was a challenge you faced recently. What was your state of mind like at that time? Many of us get overly focused on the negative when times are tough like now.

When there is a crisis in your business, what do you do? Some of us dwell on our leadership shortcomings or blame ourselves. Or question our ability to handle the challenge. “Sometimes we get overwhelmed and shut down or try to avoid the situation. Or maybe we blame someone else for everything. We fixate on their shortcomings, what they did or didn’t do, and how they always mess things up. Maybe you even want to give up. In either case, stories and judgments flood our minds,” says Dr. Cortland Dahl. He continues by saying, “our thoughts spin out of control. The common thread through all of these experiences is negativity. Rarely does the ruminating mind have anything nice to say to us.”

Both self-inquiry and rumination are focused on the self. Rumination, by definition, is a bias toward the negative, focusing on our problems or difficulties. Self-inquiry is more open. When we self-reflect, we are more interested in understanding ourselves, and our exploration is run by interest and curiosity. We’re open to all possibilities. Research by Kristy Arbon suggests this kind of inquiry is linked to lower levels of stress and depression.

It is no wonder our minds go to rumination. Uncertainty and ambiguity are commonplace in business ownership. We are operating with unknown variables and fluctuating cash flow that impacts not only our livelihood but also others. Our desire to gain control under these circumstances is intense. When we feel out of control, we tend to look externally to gain control instead of inquiring within.

Dr. Cortland Dahl explains how “our thoughts can sometimes be our worst enemy, but they can also be our greatest teacher. When we make examining our thoughts a daily practice and learn how to listen to this inner teacher, we gain insights into how our mind works. We see how some thoughts get us focused on the negative and how some thoughts completely misrepresent what is actually happening.

As our insight grows, destructive thoughts naturally begin to subside, and wise, insightful thoughts start to emerge. This isn’t something we need to force. In fact, if we control our thoughts or repress the ones we don’t like, that usually just adds fuel to the fire. What we can do instead is treat our thoughts like fascinating machines. What happens if I press this button or let go of that lever? How does this thing actually work?”

When we examine a thought, the first thing we notice is that our thoughts are not only constantly moving and changing, but we also break our thinking minds down into parts. There are plans, fantasies, judgments, and interpretations. And there is our inner monologue, that little voice in our heads. Plus, we have the mental images in our minds’ eyes, memories of the past, and plans for the future. Stepping back, we can see all the forces that shape our thoughts from what we encounter in our day-to-day life, our personal history, our family and culture, and even biology influences which thoughts arise and which thoughts don’t.

However you break this all down, there is a ton of subtle nuance and complexity in our thinking. Dr. Cortland Dahl refers to what is happening in our heads as podcasts playing all day and night. We can use the skill of examining to identify and question where the voices are coming from and which is a factual news report or maybe just made-up drama in the creation of chaos or to promote inflexibility that brings us into rumination.

He says, “when we ask questions like this and take the time to examine, we are paying attention to how our thoughts shape our experience at that moment.” Why is this so important?

Let’s imagine you had a life-changing disagreement with a business partner. You each feel determined your vision is better than the others. This could cause spending a day or more stuck in rumination, berating yourself, or minimizing the other’s vision by replaying the fight in your mind over and over again.

Or you move into a healthy self-inquiry and decide to hit pause and notice the ruminating pattern beginning. You observe your own mental state and acknowledge your intense feelings. You determine a change of venue will disrupt the negative thought by doing something else while your creative mind thinks about the other’s vision and why they feel so strongly about growing the business differently. Or, you might work on a project, go for a walk, or take a drive. This could help you get a new perspective on your situation and think more constructively and creatively about other possibilities for growing the company.

Imagine if Parag Agrawal, Twitter’s chief executive, and Elon Musk, the world’s richest man, took the time to understand each other’s different visions for Twitter as they completed the $44 billion sale of Twitter. You would see two healthy self-inquired minds working their differences out in the boardroom instead of on Twitter.

Dr. Cortland Dahl’s observation is accurate, “the mind at work is a wonder to behold. If you ever doubt how miraculous your mind is, just remember that every single night your body lies asleep while your mind congers up entire worlds.”

 Rumination, repetitive worrying, or thinking makes us more sensitive to stress, especially when we’re feeling down. The key to breaking the cycle is to notice when it’s happening and decide what you want to do with the thoughts.

Research shows clear insight enables us to understand how the mind works, see how thoughts and emotions influence the way we see the world and use challenges and adversity as opportunities for growth and understanding. Keep using your curiosity and interests to inquire within and bring your mind into a clear, stable, and calm state of being. 

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NEXT STEP: Challenge yourself and do the Conscious Attentive Leadership Mentoring (C.A.L.M.) Activities, below.