Episode 342: 5 Levels of Conversation and a Mother and Daughter’s Business Transition

Did you know that 80% of businesses worldwide are family-owned? And second-generation companies have only a 30% survival rate, according to the Family Business Institute. Tune in to hear how Dr. Lois Zachary and Lisa Fain managed a successful business transition of ownership from mother to daughter. Plus, we discuss five levels of conversation that you can use to deepen your connections during the holiday season.

Dr. Zachary has been cited as “one of the top 100 minds in leadership today.” She and Lisa Fain, her daughter, were deliberate about their purpose and values, identifying a process and developing a plan. The ownership transition of the Center for Mentoring Excellence began four years before the official handoff in 2018.

A coach worked with both of them and didn’t shy away from asking Dr. Zachary tough questions to help her psychologically and emotionally let go. Writing an operational manual gave Dr. Zachary a path to transfer knowledge and decades’ worth of documents, research, client information, etc. This operating manual also helped prepare Lisa to take over. Dr. Zacharay said Lisa brought freshness, curiosity, and inclusiveness into their mentoring work, especially essential now. Their formula worked, and I am grateful to re-air our conversation from November of 2021 and what worked for them.

Dr. Zachary also breaks down five levels of conversation: monologue, transaction, interaction, collaborative engagement, and dialogue. In healthy relating, each person’s needs are considered equally—the same with conversation. Monologues are few and far between. The approach with each other respectfully moves to collaborative engagement and meaningful dialogue with a focus on understanding and strengthening the connection. These conversations are heartfelt, with genuine feelings and an understanding that you both are doing the best you can. You feel your authentic self when you finish the conversation.

There are common misconceptions about mentoring and the cycle of mentoring that we clarify to finish our conversation with what they are looking forward to. Below is a beautiful acknowledgment Lois and Lisa included at the end of the book they co-authored, Bridging Differences for Better Mentoring.

“We acknowledge each other with love, admiration, and deep gratitude. It is rare indeed that a mother and daughter get to collaborate professionally. What a privilege it has been for us to co-author this book. We encouraged each other to bring our special magic to Bridging Differences for Better Mentoring and were able to weave our subject matter expertise and varied experiences together to create a book that reflects and elevates our strengths and passions.”

I don’t think a mother and daughter relationship can get much better than that. They agreed. DOWNLOAD

 
 
 
 
NEXT STEP: Challenge yourself and do the Conscious Attentive Leadership Mentoring (C.A.L.M.) Activities, below. 

 

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Episode Resources

Conscious Attentive Leadership Mentoring

After listening, do these three C.A.L.M. Activities:

  1. Take this risk or do this adventurous task: If you haven’t, purchase Bridging Differences for Better Mentoring by Dr. Lois Zachary and Lisa Fain. Then, choose a relationship you want to move from transactional interactions to collaborative conversations. Get curious and excited to learn something new about this person. Once you have decided which person to try this out with, schedule a phone conversation or in-person meeting. Let them know you would like to get to know them better. When you meet, approach with kind eyes and curl up the corners of your mouth, revealing a smile. You can hear someone smiling by the light playfulness in their tone of voice. Relax and focus your attention on learning more about them.
  1. Apply Self-Compassion: After you take the risk and have a collaborative conversation, assess and reflect. How did you feel? What did you learn new about this person? Do you think you deepened your connection? Was the collaborative conversation reciprocated by the other, and did they ask questions about you? If you felt the person was not open to a more robust connection, that is okay too. Better to explore an opportunity to strengthen a relationship than never take the risk. Hug yourself and take the next best step. 
  1. Welcome Appreciation: “I appreciate Dr. Zachary and Lisa Fain’s openness as we discussed their successful transition to the Center for Mentoring Excellence. I appreciate their joy, love, and respect for each other. I appreciate their commitment to continuing a legacy of inclusive mentoring excellence. I appreciate how they role model healthy relating. I appreciate the legacy of mentoring excellence to help future generations of mentors and mentees.” 

Your Turn. Start with, “I appreciate what I heard from today’s Guest Mentors, Dr. Lois Zachary and Lisa Fain. I appreciate this week’s adventurous task because….”

 “Most of the problems in our lives and world are caused by relational dysfunction, a dysfunction in how we relate: as social groups, as individuals, to animals and the environment, and even to ourselves. Therefore, developing relational literacy—the understanding of and ability to practice healthy ways of relating—is essential for personal, social, and ecological transformation.” —Melanie Joy, psychologist, author, theorist, educator

When WeMentor… your life becomes more meaningful!!! Redefine how you lead while redesigning your business. Dual Innovation Leadership WORKS. 

Podcast Guest Mentors

Lisa Fain and Dr. Lois Zachary

Lisa Fain is the CEO of the Center for Mentoring Excellence and an expert in the intersection of cultural competency and mentoring. Her passion for diversity and inclusion fuels her firm conviction that leveraging differences creates a better workplace and drives better business results.

Lisa brings her energy, enthusiasm, and engagement to any group, facilitating lively workshops and training and delivering interactive speeches with practical steps that can be implemented right away.

Other Credentials. Lisa is a certified mediator through Chicago’s Center for Conflict Resolution and a certified life coach through the International Coach Academy. She graduated with a B.S. in Social Policy from Northwestern University and holds a Juris Doctorate from Northwestern University School of Law.

As Senior Director of the Diversity and Inclusion function at Outerwall, Inc., Lisa spearheaded its diversity initiative’s development, establishment, and implementation. Before assuming that position, she worked as Outerwall’s in-house counsel, coaching leaders and partnering with Human Resources to establish fair and effective policies and practices that would sustain the organization as it grew in size, revenue, and renown.

For almost a decade, Lisa practiced law in the Chicago office of a major multinational firm, where she counseled employers on creating inclusive policies and practices. While in that role, she served as Master Trainer, training thousands of employees at various companies, large and small, on how to create a better workplace.

Lisa lives in Seattle, WA. She loves to hike and explore the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two daughters.

Dr. Lois Zachary is an internationally recognized expert on mentoring and the founder of Leadership Development Services, LLC, and its Center for Mentoring Excellence. She has been cited as “one of the top 100 minds in leadership” today. You’ve likely seen mention of Dr. Zachary’s books, or read her quotes, in The New York Times, Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, Financial Times, Inc. magazine, T&D, Leadership Excellence, The Chronicle of Higher Education, or other business and leadership news outlets.

Lois J. Zachary earned her doctorate in adult and continuing education from Columbia University and earned master’s degrees from Columbia University and Southern Illinois University. She is the author of multiple books on mentoring. Her first book, The Mentor’s Guide (2000), has become a primary resource for organizations interested in promoting mentoring for leadership and learning and for mentors seeking to deepen their mentoring practice. With Creating a Mentoring Culture (2005), The Mentee’s Guide (2009), the second edition of The Mentor’s Guide (2012), Starting Strong (2014), Five Mentoring Excellence Pocket Toolkits, and hundreds of articles and blogs, Lois has created a comprehensive set of resources for promoting her lifetime passion: mentoring excellence for individuals and organizations.

Lois’s innovative mentoring approaches and her expertise in helping leaders and organizations design, implement and evaluate learner-centered mentoring programs have been used globally by a wide array of clients, including Fortune 100 companies, NGOs, government organizations, educational institutions, and numerous profit and nonprofit entities.

 Dr. Lois Zachary and her daughter Lisa Fain are a powerful entrepreneurial mentoring team. Dr. W. Brad Johnson, a Professor of Psychology at the U.S. Naval Academy and Faculty Associate at Johns Hopkins University, says of Dr. Zachary and Lisa, today’s Mentor Guests, are “luminaries in the mentoring field.” Order book HERE!

Lisa Z. Fain

Dr. Lois J. Zachary

  • CEO of The Center for Mentoring Excellence
  • Author of Bridging Differences for Better Mentoring: Lean Forward, Learn, Leverage
  • Mobile: 630.352.8694
  • Email: lfain@centerformentoring.com
  • Skype: lisazacharyfain
  • Internationally recognized expert on mentoring and author.
  • Founder of Leadership Development Services, LLC, and its Center for Mentoring Excellence.
  • Mobile: 602.524.9089
  • Email: lzachary@centerformentoring.com

 

Episode 342: 5 Levels of Conversation and a Mother and Daughter’s Business Transition

Nancy A. Meyer, M.A.
Author: Nancy A. Meyer, M.A.

Nancy A. Meyer, M.A., is a seasoned entrepreneurial leader, business and life mentor/coach/teacher, podcaster, author, and certified mindfulness yoga and meditation integrator (she integrates those skill sets into everything). Nancy’s compassionate and collaborative approach reinforces resilience while maintaining accountable conversations supporting how you redefine your lead while redesigning your business. Nancy calls this “Dual Innovation Leadership.”   Nancy founded WeMentor, inc. in 1992 to change the leadership in our country by providing emerging and existing business owners with mentoring in Dual Innovation Leadership. She has mentored thousands and is eager to work with you! Assert self-leadership and get started today! Clients say, “Nancy is a compelling, engaging, and ‘decipher the trees from the forest’ kind of mentor, speaker, and leader. A dedicated entrepreneurial leader and mentor who role models what she preaches. Her style and candor enrich the content she delivers and the results clients experience.” Nancy accepts people where they are while inspiring them to breakthrough into new dimensions:  As an Entrepreneurial Leader (Innovator),  As a Competent Business Owner (Practitioner)  As a Mentor (Role Model)  As a Spiritual Being and Self-Leadership Master! Start by subscribing to WeMentor Mondays with Nancy PODCAST. Join your peers and...

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