Episode Notes

Sometimes we need more than one experience to raise awareness that a behavior change is required. A confluence of events shifted my perspective and primed me for three wake-up calls that led to reflection, integration, and behavior change.

I first noticed a shift after reading The Taste of Joy: Mediterranean Wisdom for a Life Worth Savoring by Emily A. Francis and listening again to our two podcast conversations. I can’t say if it was a comment or the whole concept of continuing to live mindfully and naturally to nourish our bodies and souls, as Emily encourages, that prompted my perspective shifting. Or the massive leap of faith in moving their family to Malta to live the Medattearan life.

My second perspective shift is the unexpected heart-opening with Letty in our lives. Letty, our seven-year-old miniature Schnauzer, came into our lives on March 7, 2023, and Olivia, our daughter, said I seemed happier with Letty in our lives. That comment stuck with me. Was I not happy before welcoming Letty into her retirement home, our home? She has had 50 puppies and made 50 families enormously happy.

She brings joy to our family with just her presence. She is a love bug and comfortable in her skin. Being comfortable in our skin is what few humans learn. The rest of us hustle to belong through pleasing, perfecting, and performing, as we know from Brené Brown’s research on shame and resilience. Letty let us know she belonged with us by providing unconditional love; we shower her with it. A different kind of contentment is setting in.

The third shift involved taking a 10-session Movement For Living Well class taught by Stephanie Ross-Russell that releases myofascial tissue using the movement disciplines of Yoga, Pilates, and Slings Myofascial Training®. We have one session left. This class improves skeletal movement, enhances blood flow, and has countless other benefits. I feel different physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. I think more grounded, resilient, and buoyant.

This Movement For Living Well class has integrated asanas or yoga poses while having a pilates feel with small repetitious movements designed to target small muscles and nerve fibers. The goal is to move more freely. This integrated experience reminds me of one of the world’s yoga masters, B.K.S. Iyengar’s writings in his book Light on Life: The Yoga Journey to Wholeness, Inner Peace, and Ultimate Freedom. “Yoga has a threefold impact on health. It keeps healthy people healthy, it inhibits the development of disease, and it aids recovery from ill health.” I definitely need that.

“Health begins,” he writes, “with firmness in body, deepens to emotional stability, then leads to intellectual clarity, wisdom, and finally the unveiling of the soul.” Iyengar teaches us that there is more to us than physical health. There is moral health, mental health, intellectual health, and even the health of consciousness, the health of our conscience, and ultimately divine health. With the confluence of those events, my body, mind, and soul were primed for three wake-up calls that supported my behavior change. One never knows whom the next enlightened soul will cross our path. We need to be vigilant.

My first wake-up call started on June 18, Father’s Day. Olivia, our 21-year-old daughter, had a nasty stomach flu leading up to Father’s Day. I was worried about her. Matthew and I decided to drive to Madison, where she lives and goes to school, and spend a few days with her.

I drove down with my Waze App connected. The App lets us know where cars are by the side of the road and where cop cars are parked at differing locations along our Hwy—94 path. I’ve been known to be a fast driver. I love driving and the freedom I feel behind the wheel. No one is telling me what to do. No one is in my way for too long. I can always pass them. Only the weather, construction, and unforeseen human errors slow me down between where I am and where I am going. My destination is clear.

I was barreling along, leading the pack of fast cars in the left lane. I was getting high on the adrenaline rush passing cars, almost like a teenager. I noticed my Waze App was slow. The App works because drivers report what is on the road, and it says stalled cars on the road or other information well after I pass it. What is that about?

In Eau Claire County, I pressed the gas pedal more intensely as the traffic moved. I needed to keep the pressure on and reach our destination in four hours. I wanted to ensure our girl, now a woman, was okay. Matthew was reading away, sitting beside me—Letty in the back seat.

I see a cop car and nestle behind someone in the right lane. Too late. I watch the squad car lights go on, and the vehicle pulls out quickly. There he is, right behind me. Shit.

Matthew initiates me to open the window on his side as the officer approaches. The officer bends over and looks into the vehicle. Matthew has his book in his hands. I have my hands on the wheel. Letty has her paws stretched on the armrest. Ears raised, tail wagging.

The officer asks where we are going. I tell him we’re going to Madison to visit our daughter. He says, “My radar clocked you at going 86 mph. Did you know you were speeding?” I say, “Yes, I was speeding. I didn’t realize I was going quite that fast.” The officer asks for our insurance information. Matthew goes into the glove compartment and gives it to him. The officer goes back to his car. About 10 minutes later, he returns, looking me right in the eyes. “Here you go. Do you have any questions?” I say, “No.” What I wanted to say but couldn’t right then was, “Thank you for the wake-up call, officer.” He said, “Safe travels.” And we left.

I had been pushing the speed boundaries for some time now. My awareness was increasing with intuitive whispers, “What are you doing? This is dangerous. Why are you breaking the law?” I am known as being a little speed demon. I told myself, “Just because I am going fast doesn’t mean I am reckless. I am hyper-vigilant and have a quick response time. I have had a few minor incidents like being stopped at a stop light in the dead of winter and watching my car slide on ice into the car next to me at a speed of fewer than 2 miles an hour.” It happened to be a psychologist I hit. We processed the event in her car, huh? Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor?

I needed to collapse the adrenaline-junky part of my ego that was putting my life and others in harm’s way and bring my benevolence of spirit to the forefront of this adolescent behavior, and I did. I am following the speed limit.

My Second Wake-Up Call

The second wake-up call came from my body releasing and integrating new experiences. My four-year streak of good health ended with a cleansing flu bug. Yes, our body tells us what it needs; we need to listen. Last Wednesday, I reached exhaustion from this unfamiliar flu bug. I slept from Wednesday evening on and off to Friday morning. My throat was slightly congested. I took Cépocal throat lozenges and a couple of rounds of Tylenol for the achy body pains. Drank lots of water and hot tea. Several Lavender Epsom salt baths soothed my body further and put me into a relaxed spiritual state so I could sleep deeply like a baby each night.

My body needed rest to integrate the physical and emotional changes from my Movement For Living Well class and the officer intervention.

My Third Wake-Up Call

I felt better by Friday, so I set up a staging environment for a web designer I would hire to redesign my website. A staging environment is when you clone your website so a designer can design a new site without going ‘live’ prematurely. The clone becomes the new site when the redesign is ready and signed off on.

I log into the back end of my website. The Host Gator, technical support staff, had coached me on how to set up the staging environment. They made it sound like something I could seamlessly do. I realized too late that I knew enough to be dangerous and, with that, crashed my wementor.com website. I call Host Gator, my website host provider. They are inundated with customers requesting website help restoring their websites like me. For 21 hours, my website was down. I have had a website since 2000. That has never happened before. If you weren’t able to listen to one of my podcast conversations over the weekend, I apologize for the inconvenience. You can listen to any of them now.

I needed to reflect and connect the dots between these experiences. Integrate what I became aware of, let go, and change my behavior.

Reflection, Integration, and Behavior Change

Why am I sabotaging my podcast? WTHeck. First, the speeding ticket, then my exhausted body is working through a flu bug, and now this. Then it dawned on me, like many of you, that life lessons come in threes. What do I need to integrate, let go of, and change? Have I been manifesting this change?

What I know about how I manifest is this. I have been imagining, envisioning, and meditating on liberating the next part of my soul for months and months and months. It is the big picture. I never know precisely how this liberation will happen. I know it involves a build-up emotionally. I knew it would be messy and embarrassing, and I would see a side of myself I wasn’t proud of, but it would be worth it in the end. Like someone looking at themselves misbehaving and knowing they are acting uncharacteristically bad but unable to stop themselves. Not a train wreck, but heading in that direction.

I needed the confluence of events and the three wake-up calls to release the sheath that had grown accustomed to encasing the light in my soul. That sheath included the behavior of my adolescent self. I asked myself, “Did I need a police officer to offer me this message? Did I need to get sick to integrate these experiences into my body, mind, and soul? Did I need to self-sabotage my lifework temporarily?” Apparently, yes, and that is okay. No judgment; there is only learning, recommitting to do what is needed to grow, and evolving.

Like a snake shedding a coat of skin because they have become too big for it. We need to let go of what no longer serves us. I feel I am releasing a sheath around my soul that concealed my inner light, and I couldn’t do it without a confluence of events and humans directing me in the right direction.

None of this kind of work is done in vain. It all has its place in the Divine Universe. I got a speeding ticket, a natural consequence that I took seriously. The flu bug is almost 100% out of my system. I am taking care of myself. My website is up, and I’ll get the help I need to complete the redesign I see in my mind’s eye. I am grateful to have liberated my soul. It will take a few more days, weeks, or months to integrate all of these lessons fully, but I am happy for the freedom in my soul today.

After all this work, I am taking a podcast break during July to work with clients, have fun, and tape more meaningful conversations to air this fall. Enjoy July.

B.K.S. Iyengar says, “A happy and serene mind allows us to pursue our quest as well as live with artistry and skill. Does not the American Declaration of Independence talk of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness? If a yogi had written that, they would have said Life, Happiness, and the Pursuit of Liberty. Sometimes happiness may bring stagnation, but if freedom comes from disciplined happiness, there is the possibility of true liberation.” (p. 26) And that is what I am after. DOWNLOAD