Episode 363: Learning to Love the Voices In Your Head with Debbie Unterman
Episode Notes
Today is my 62nd birthday. This birthday isn’t monumental. We seem to emphasize birthdays ending with 5s and 0s; 65, 20, 35, and so on. A few months before a birthday, I naturally go inward, reflecting on the prior year in preparation for the upcoming year. I can say I am envigorated with this next phase of lifework.
Matthew and I are in a great spot. We feel fantastic providing a retirement home for Letty, our new seven-year-old miniature Schnauzer. She keeps us moving with her fast-paced walking, and we give her lots of love. Olivia is finishing her junior year in college and carving out her life as an interdependent person. We know how to allow each other wings to fly.
I have always viewed relationships and mentoring from a soul level. I am desperately learning to understand the voices in my head from the 6,000 thoughts we average daily and decipher relationships to fulfill a deeper reason for our connection. How can I best help another grow and evolve in their life’s work?
Today’s guest mentor, Alchemical Hypnotherapist Debbie Unterman, wrote me the following lightly edited note after last week’s podcast conversation. “Nancy, you are an Alchemist in the way you use words! I’m serious. I just finished listening to Caroline Myss’s video on the Alchemist archetype for the second time. These are some of the notes I took: Alchemy is about Language. What word do I choose? Will I empower with my words? How am I interpreting what I see and feel? Carolyn says words trigger biochemical reactions in the body, so choosing your words and thinking wisely is important. I’ll re-purpose many of your words.” “Modern-day Master Alchemists,” Debbie writes, “have the ability to transform the disparate elements of human consciousness, such as confusion, envy, loneliness, and despair, into the gold of self-realization.” (p. 245)
Our conversation naturally fortifies Debbie’s lifework, which is beautifully showcased in her book Talking To My Selves: Learning to Love the Voices in Your Head. Even though it was written in 2009, Debbie stands by its relevance today. Her book invites you to explore your unique identity, heal emotional distress, and find spiritual guidance within.
We discuss her adult beginnings as a hippy in 1979 living amongst the tallest and oldest living things on earth, Redwood trees in northern California. Redwoods reach up to 380 feet in height and 18 feet in diameter; some are over 2,000 years old. Debbie says, “I wanted to get into building community and develop the best means of commerce, bartering.”
Bartering movements have evolved since the 1970s. An example is the emergence of the first cryptocurrency BitCoin in 2009. The Federal Trade Commission calls Bitcoin electronic currency which has collapsed five times and is in need of regulation.
We are fallible human beings and need regulations (boundaries) to protect ourselves from unethical and unconscious humans, including ourselves. That is why a sophisticated banking system, the Federal Reserve Bank, was developed to regulate the use of money among humans. Unethical entrepreneurs expose vulnerabilities in established systems. When vulnerabilities are uncovered, we have two options. Choose to grow and evolve the system with this new information, or dismiss what we learn and revert to letting our shadows take over the system. Debbie talks about a chapter in her book called the dark side of the Moon.
Debbie spent nine years in northern California before moving to Atlanta, Georgia, where she has lived since 1988. While amongst the Redwoods and living on a piece of land deserted by loggers, Debbie met Dan Healy, an audio engineer for the Grateful Dead, who started an FM radio station in the mountains. Dan abandoned the station after it lost its luster. Debbie began her Alchemical Hypnotherapy work and raised $6,500. With the money she raised and the help of others, she launched Redwood Community Radio, a public radio and television station. She had her own radio talk show on KMUD and feels this is a full circle moment connecting her young adult self with her older wiser self. She started a weekly show on Bold Brave TV called Love The Voices in Your Head.
Hear the details of her journey and some concepts in her book that support your journey in mastering self-leadership. Below is a powerful quote from her book.
“Even with obvious external divisions between people of different classes, races, religions, and political parties, we remain oblivious to the internal divisions that exist within ourselves. Life keeps people feeling alone and separate, isolated within their own thoughts and memories which Carl Jung refers to as the “personal unconscious.” Many clues abound through dreams and synchronicities to prove the existence of what he termed the “collective unconscious” which is the realm of archetypes and Sub-personalities shared by all of humanity.” – Debbie Unterman, Alchemist, and Author, Talking To My Selves: Learning to Love the Voices in Your Head (p. 245)
To tune in to Love The Voices Thursdays at 6:00 p.m. (ET) or 5:00 p.m. (CT), 4:00 p.m. (PT), go to Bold Brave TV. 6pm | Love The Voices – BOLD BRAVE TV
NEXT STEP After Listening: Challenge yourself and do the three Conscious Attentive Leadership Mentoring (C.A.L.M.) Activities, below. 
Episode Resources
Episodes with Debbie Unterman
The Best Therapeutic Advice I Ever Heard | WeMentor Mondays with Nancy PODCAST
Playing Through Your Issues with Debbie Unterman | WeMentor Mondays with Nancy PODCAST
Therapy of the New Future | WeMentor Mondays with Nancy PODCAST
Institutional Playbook For Concealing The Truth, 3 of 7 | WeMentor Mondays with Nancy PODCAST
Institutional Playbook For Concealing The Truth, 4 of 7 | WeMentor Mondays with Nancy PODCAST
Conscious Attentive Leadership Mentoring
After listening, do these three C.A.L.M. Activities:
- Take this risk or do this adventurous task: To tap into your authentic voice this week, play around with how you want to express yourself. Choose a person with whom your connection has been disrupted. Ask yourself what your deepest desire is with that person like mending a disrupted connection. It might be that you repeatedly have the same argument with a disconnecting result and end up not talking, or don’t get together anymore, or ignore each other while working together. Explore what is underneath the repetitious arguments. Is there a power imbalance? Does one of us have to be right? Are you hurt, or is the other person hurt? Are you self-protecting?
- Apply Self-Compassion: Once you have identified the motivation behind the negative interactions, allow your feelings to surface. Be with those feelings. When you are ready, brainstorm on your own or with a trusted friend to discover a way to shift the dynamic and re-establish a healthier connection that is not harmful to either one of you.
- Welcome Appreciation: “I am grateful for Debbie Unterman. Her wisdom and insights into transformation have helped me integrate confusing experiences. I understand my scars. I appreciate how she answered the new opportunity call for a “Love The Voices” weekly show on Bold Brave TV. I appreciate and love her. I also admire and respect her skills as an alchemical hypnotherapist.
Your Turn. Start with, “I appreciate what I heard from today’s Guest Mentor, Debbie Unterman. I appreciate this week’s adventurous task because….”
“Most of the problems in our lives and world are caused by relational dysfunction, a dysfunction in how we relate: as social groups, as individuals, to animals and the environment, and even to ourselves. Therefore, developing relational literacy—the understanding of and ability to practice healthy ways of relating—is essential for personal, social, and ecological transformation.” —Melanie Joy, psychologist, author, theorist, educator
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Podcast Guest Mentor
Debbie Unterman.
Debbie Unterman is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Author, Mediator, Speaker, and Game Inventor; she likes to help people see things clearly in non-traditional ways. In her book, Talking to My Selves: Learning to Love the Voices in Your Head, Debbie describes an array of characters she says we all have rattling around in our brains, such as The Judge, The Rebel, The Victim, and maybe even a Ms. or Mr. Perfect.
As a Master Alchemist and Trainer, she’s been delving inside people’s heads for over forty years. She’s achieved proven results with clients suffering from PTSD, sexual abuse, depression, co-dependency, phobias, anxiety, lack of direction, sex and relationship issues, and much more.
But even though she can help you work through your issues, she is very interested in creating a new paradigm of “Playing through your issues,” which is what she is doing with hundreds of people who are playing her Transformational Board Games of “Clarity” and “Satori: The Game of Radical Forgiveness.”
Alchemical Hypnotherapy is an interactive trance process that helps people heal the root causes of emotional, physical, spiritual, and psychological issues. Debbie Unterman facilitates this timeless therapeutic practice by guiding clients to access their positive inner resources, empowering her clients to love the voices in their heads.
To tune in to Love The Voices Thursdays at 6:00 p.m. (ET) or 5:00 p.m. (CT), 4:00 p.m. (PT), go to Bold Brave TV.
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Episode 363: Learning to Love the Voices In Your Head with Debbie Unterman
Author: Nancy A. Meyer, M.A.
Nancy A. Meyer, M.A., is a seasoned entrepreneurial leader, business and life mentor/coach/teacher, podcaster, author, and certified mindfulness yoga and meditation integrator (she integrates those skill sets into everything). Nancy’s compassionate and collaborative approach reinforces resilience while maintaining accountable conversations supporting how you redefine your lead while redesigning your business. Nancy calls this “Dual Innovation Leadership.” Nancy founded WeMentor, inc. in 1992 to change the leadership in our country by providing emerging and existing business owners with mentoring in Dual Innovation Leadership. She has mentored thousands and is eager to work with you! Assert self-leadership and get started today! Clients say, “Nancy is a compelling, engaging, and ‘decipher the trees from the forest’ kind of mentor, speaker, and leader. A dedicated entrepreneurial leader and mentor who role models what she preaches. Her style and candor enrich the content she delivers and the results clients experience.” Nancy accepts people where they are while inspiring them to breakthrough into new dimensions: As an Entrepreneurial Leader (Innovator), As a Competent Business Owner (Practitioner) As a Mentor (Role Model) As a Spiritual Being and Self-Leadership Master! Start by subscribing to WeMentor Mondays with Nancy PODCAST. Join your peers and...
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